doodle

Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for delf like Philly,
I feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely,
I apologize if all that I sound like, is I'm complaining,
But life keeps on complicating, an' I'm debating,
On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls,
Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it,
But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty,
When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help.
I can't do it by myself, too weak,
2 weeks I've been having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,
Around with the idea, of ending the shit right here.
I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryin' to fight mirrors,
I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a fuck, only thing I fear, is her,
I'm afraid if I close my eyes I might see her,
Shit..

Don't know what I'm going through,
but I just keep on going through changes...

There are just too many things, to explain, when it rains,
Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain.
But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame,
I ain't pointin' fingers, heaven knows there never been a saint.
I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history,
But just today, I looked at your picture, almost hate to say,
I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way.
But I just had to get away, don't know why,
I don't know what else to say, I guess I'm..